(“You’re NOT an Imposter” Part Two)
So many people reached out to me after I published the first “You Are Not an Imposter” blog – clients, friends, even people I’ve never met — to say that it resonated deeply. So many of us still carry pieces of our past into the way we think about money and belonging. That response inspired me to write this follow-up: another look at what it means to stay real when life — and money — change.
There’s a Miranda Lambert song called “Polyester” that I’ve loved since from the first time I heard it. It’s about remembering your roots even when life looks different now — holding on to who you are in a world that sometimes mistakes money for superiority.
It hit me because even though I’ve never struggled much with imposter syndrome, I have felt something close to it. That icky awareness that maybe people think you’ve “gotten too big for your britches.” I never wanted to see myself as better than anyone else — but I sometimes feared that others thought I thought I was.
When Money Makes You Self-Conscious
I see that same tension in many of my clients. They’re proud of what they have — and they should be — but they don’t really want to look wealthy.
They’re the kind of people who still prefer the burger and beer over the caviar and wine. They appreciate a nice dinner, but feel a little awkward when it’s at a white-tablecloth restaurant where everyone’s talking about golf and investments.
They feel uncomfortable sitting across from people in expensive suits in fancy offices, because deep down, they still relate more to the person working hard in the trenches than to the person showing off from the mountain top.
They have empathy. They remember. They haven’t lost touch.
When Humility and Money Collide
For a lot of people, I think humility is a survival skill. It kept relationships steady and priorities straight. But once money enters the picture, humility can start to feel… complicated.
You don’t want to flaunt, and you also don’t want to hide.
You’re grateful, and you don’t want that gratitude mistaken for guilt.
You’ve worked hard, and you never want to seem like you’ve forgotten what hard work feels like.
Sometimes, the fear of being misunderstood makes people shrink back — to downplay their achievements or distance themselves from “wealthy spaces.”
But real humility isn’t about playing small. It’s about remembering who you are and using what you have to make a difference.
Arrogance, Shame, and the Fine Line Between Them
I really can’t stand arrogance. But I kind of think arrogance and shame are two sides of the same coin. They both come from insecurity.
Arrogance puffs up to prove something.
Shame shrinks down to hide something.
And both keep us from simply being ourselves.
When money finds you, it doesn’t have to change who you are — but it will amplify what’s already inside you. If you were kind before, you’ll continue being kind. If you were generous, you’ll keep finding new ways to give. If you were grounded, wealth will give your roots even more reach.
Real Wealth Doesn’t Need to Look Fancy
Real wealth isn’t about luxury (although there’s nothing wrong with luxury!); it’s about things that money can’t buy. It’s about freedom — the freedom to live according to your values.
It shows up in the way you tip generously.
In the way you help your grandkids with college or support a local nonprofit.
In the way you buy coffee for the person behind you in line just because you can.
You don’t have to look “fancy” to live richly.
You don’t have to fit into someone else’s version of success to be successful.
The people I admire most are the ones who live with quiet confidence — grateful, humble, generous, and deeply aware of how far they’ve come.
Final thought:
Staying real doesn’t mean staying small. It means knowing that who you are matters more than what you have — and that you can carry both humility and money in the same hand without losing your balance.